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Acceptance, Recognition, Love, Security, Independence, or something else?When we break down the list written above, into sub categories we can further define areas they may influence in your life we can see just how complex our DRIVER’S can be. These (Can represent or link to subconscious thoughts such as) or may include for example: Exercise: For fun look at the list and then, 1 being lowest 9 being highest and see how you score. Acceptance I feel I belong
Circumstances or Change is beyond your influenceThe events in your life are a matter of fate or destiny I feel lovedThey understand me and what motivates meIt up to me, I am responsible for what I feel and how I reactI’m doing the right thing Recognition Wanting approvalFeeling powerfulFeeling successfulBetter than othersI have reached my goalRewardAcknowledgement by family and peers LoveSafety I am safe.NurturingPassionAcceptanceSecurity Providing support to othersI want my own wayHaving someone else being responsibleManipulative – you do what I wantSecurity I feel safeFinancial I am responsibleEmotional I am balancedPhysical I take care of my needsEnvironmental I careMoney I am a generous spiritStrength for other peopleNeed to controlNeed to be the bossNeed to be told what to doMake own decisionsIndependentMaking your own decisionsDoing what you want when you wantNot being responsible for other people Keeping your income all for yourselfHaving the means to live life to the fullestBeing wealthy feeling wealthy
Not wanting to trust other peopleNot letting people know who you areNot sharing I don’t like sharingOr something else?Living on emotionsLiving drama every day of your lifeWanting to be free of the drama of relationshipsWanting to make a differenceWanting to help othersWanting others to help meGiving time unconditionallyNeeding of those around meOther…………….
Success can happen through disasters. As I said previously, my journey has been one of incomprehensible hardship to get to here, so why did I do it? I had the courage to believe in a vision in a destiny and that vision was so strong that it kept me going no matter what challenge life handed me to test my truth. Everything in my life that was not truth was broken away bit by bit, friends left, business failed, people let me down breaking promises time after time, and yes it knocked me down, but the power of my vision would pick me right back up again, and with no money, no help, just pure will and courage I kept going. I realized the truth of the law of attraction; I realized one key that I had not truly understood before. That if you think positive and still have fear the fear will generate the outcome, what you feel is more important than what you are thinking. The only things that can be destroyed in your life are things, which are not real; I want you to think carefully about that. Turn everything that happens to you into an opportunity, look for the silver lining. Sometimes it’s hard, but I can guarantee there is one they’re somewhere. You just have to look hard enough and broaden your thinking to step out of always grabbing on to the negative. Major upheavals often pre-empt a choice of change of life direction. Common mistakes:
· Not knowing how to read the balance sheet and not double checking the figures. When I lost my first company, in my heart I knew it was because I lacked basic skills. · I trusted other people to do what I could not do - the result was disaster. · Sending an email while you’re still angry – or trying to sort out problems while you’re angry. · Also because everyone told me I was new to business I felt I had to take their advice, after all they were the professionals I was only a beginner. · I also went against my gut feeling taking the advice of so called experts, who it turned out had never developed anything, and only learnt from text books. · People who should have known better told me to give up that my vision would never happen. I wonder how they feel today. Rather foolish I would imagine.
Ultimately your vision for your life cannot impinge upon any other person. It is your vision and only yours. When you expect other people to be a part of you vision, your life you deny them freedom to choose. You can wish something for yourself, the thing to remember is that unless those around you are in harmony or alignment with that ~ they will leave or withdraw from aspects of your life. THE NEXT LEVEL; I have always had a belief that every person has an inbuilt compass, one which directs us to what I call our true North, or true self. If we stay aligned to that True North, then life flows, opportunities present and life is good. For each of us “Our True North” is based upon our inner core values. Our Core Values are the elements which encompass our TRUTH our soul’s values. These are values are honesty, integrity, courage, commitment, compassion and ………….Motivation CD It is this compass that keeps me physically safe all the time, it is this compass that I now live my live by. I no longer give the power of my life to others just in order I feel like I belong. I have walked away from friendships that did not accept me for me. I no longer allow people to ride on my coat tails; I encourage them to walk alone on their own two feet. When ever issues or challenges arise in our lives it’s often because we have lost our bearings and our subtle Driver’s having influenced our choices and persuaded us to deviate from our basic core value set. The only way to begin to unravel the tangled web of Driver confusion is to begin to watch or observe the choices you make in your own life. A typical situation: You are so angry with your partner that you know if you open your mouth to speak, you are going to regret it, so you just go off and sulk? Think about it? Or do something soul uplifting, like a walk on the beach, or watch a movie? Self EVALUATION! What you need to think about and ask yourself: How did this situation come to this? When did you first notice you were feeling off centre over this issue? What should you have found a way to discuss? Why did you avoid discussing it? What is it your wanting your this person to provide, (love, acceptance, support, money) that they aren’t? Who are you expecting this person to be? When ever there is a situation like this there are often conflicting needs, in other words you may not have spoken up because you were afraid of rejection, or afraid of the honesty of their answer. Fear is often a very influential partner in subtly driving our choices. Question: O.K you’ve done some self evaluation so how do you deal with the issue, or problem before it gets to the point of explosion. Looking at an average person’s life, it’s easy to see that what we value, what we believe and what we expect of life create how we handle life’s choices. For example; when you were 17 you already knew that people with a good education were far more successful and earned better income, but you didn't consider yourself very smart and you were lazy and just didn't want to be bothered with the study so you dropped out of College and just bummed about, surfing and hanging out. Dad paid the bills for a while, but eventually that stopped and life just became harder and harder. Now 15 years later, you have a basic job that pays a basic wage, and you really want to get ahead in life, however you find that in order to get that promotion you want you just have to do the hard yards and go back to study, your priorities have changed now your future is more important than chilling out! You expect life to bring you good things but you’re just not prepared to feel the discomfort of stretching yourself to achieve them. So what happens in your life? It’s your choice if you believe you can ~ you will! Our priorities create our lives and they underlie the Driver’s pushing us towards, what is important and what is not. So if your priority is to be wealthy for example, what aspect of your life are you willing to sell to get it? Buying and selling focus is normal, you work harder, but your family misses out, and you develop an ulcer, but you have the money to go on holiday, etc, etc. Priorities often can be influenced by childhood experiences, by emotional vulnerabilities by beliefs, fears, and values. For example; someone who comes from a background of poverty may be either determined to have a better life, and set priorities which support and create opportunities, or they may believe that they are locked into being a victim and their priorities may be emotionally influenced and driven causing them to miss one opportunity after the other due to lack of self worth or confidence. Ultimately all our priorities are influenced according to our perception of our life experience. One thing I know for sure though life pain and suffering is one hell of a motivating force. And sadly for a lot of people life only changes when it hurts to the point you feel like your dying inch by inch, then and only then do we reach out and look for help. Somewhere in our minds we weigh up the pain of what is happening now with our fear of change and learning something new, and for most of us there comes a point of tolerance where we just can’t take any more, and we just want the pain to stop.
We live in an age where often our lives are influenced in every direction by a lethal cocktail of Sex, Drugs and Drama add to that emotional insecurity combined with what I call the quick fix mind set of a disposable society where no one takes responsibility for their choices and everything is someone else’s fault and you sure have a time bomb just waiting for somewhere to happen. Media would have you believe that if your not pretty enough or thin enough then go and spend $ or indulge in something to get your mind off the real issue and it will fix everything. That is until the credit card bill comes in. Every single person on this earth at some time buys and sells aspects of their selves in order to not have to face the underlying vulnerability and the reality that our priorities are screwed and its time to rethink our lives. Keeping the balance is the challenge, prioritizing your day to take care of your own needs, spend quality time with people you love as well as focus on your career or business idea is not always easy. It’s all a balancing act really, yet the balancing act comes with a warning. My mother always said no matter what you do in life, if your honest, have integrity and respect then you never have to look over your shoulder wondering when that tiny lie is going to blow your life to pieces. So often people are foolish enough to tempt fate by believing they can trade with the truth, and any fool should know if you go against what your heart and soul holds true and dear then you’re in for one heck of a lesson, just ask Bill Clinton. Our core values are who we are; they are what set our TRUE NORTH! They are the self imposed unbreakable honesty, respect, integrity, or any of the core values then sure enough fate will at some point jump up and whack you round the head. One thing I have learned for certain is that in order to achieve ANYTHING, our core values must stay intact. Truth for example has a way of sooner or later coming to the surface and when it does, the ripples it makes can turn into TSUNAMI’S wiping out years of achievement and everything that goes with it. Assuming and Presuming; These are the two capital crimes of our society. People jumping to conclusions without ever knowing all the facts, people assuming they know the other persons motivation, story and details, when they have never bothered to stop and ask! Boundaries: Boundaries are something that not many people are good with. Having boundaries requires that you have to communicate clearly with other people. They state what you will accept and won’t accept in your life; if your boundaries are not clear in your own mind then you can’t communicate them to others. If people are living in codependent situations boundaries can be a minefield. In codependency boundaries are often set to control the behavior of other people rather than empower your life to support your beliefs. When this happens it leads to arguments and problems in the household and in your life. One thing for sure is that it’s very uncomfortable and stressful when people to live in the same space if they don’t agree on a foundation set of common boundaries. For example, one person may like lots of personal space; the other may not need this and not understand the other person’s need for being alone. Relationships that work are in fact a complex dance of boundaries, communication and respect to ensure that the primary needs of everyone are taken into count without compromise. It’s a win-win situation if you are clear in your communication and you ask for what you want, without emotional manipulation. Are you holding onto things that the universe wants you to let go of? Are you holding onto harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities that you have become so attached to that it seems impossible to let go? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand but do believe this one thing.............Only your heart and soul can answer that, sometimes it may seem that you need to let go when in fact it is just your doubt that is causing your obstacles, fate will keep challenging you if you don’t believe you can have the best. But one thing I can say definitely is that the universe will never take away something without giving you something better in its place. We can either be open to following our heart, and facing our fears and inadequacies and creating the life we have always dreamed of, or we can settle for the status quo. Never become that unique person who sits deep in our soul. What ever you decide it’s alright – there is no right or wrong in this life, it is merely a journey of experience. You can fly with the eagles, or walk with the sparrows – the choice my friend is up to you! Published 2004 originally by TRUITY; Truity Holdings Pty Ltd Brisbane Australia. www.wanabelong.com www.truity.com.au www.truity.net.
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