| Starting Over Book p35-40 | | Print | |
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It’s a mind over matter exercise, when we know we only need 52cts an hour to live, you automatically find your body relaxing and you stop panicking. It’s only a small amount, and so the effect it has mentally is quite astounding. For example to have a million $ all you need to do is sell 1million things for a $. It’s always the simplest ideas that make the most money and it’s that simple. Ask for what you want! Don’t emotionally manipulate people to get what you want: Be upfront and make sure you are upfront when you want help or support. People can’t read minds, and most of us don’t like to be emotionally manipulated by other people and will back right away if we feel this is what is happening. Look at what you are doing – who you are doing it for and ask yourself why you are doing it. Have a vision board with your dream home and other things on it, create your world, but create it on the best energy you can, the energy of love not struggle! If you’re being irrational and emotional, stop. Go to the doctors get a check up; make sure your hormones are ok. And then look at the issues, which are driving the emotional crisis! Issues, which drive emotions, are generally fear based. Are you afraid you can’t take care of yourself? Are you afraid no one will love you? Are you afraid that you will live in poverty the rest of your life? Are you afraid of dying? Are you afraid of Living? The list goes on and on. If there’s a hidden emotional agenda involved stop and rethink the situation. You have a choice how you live your life, and the only time we are a victim of our selves is when we react to situations without thinking, and only you can change that. Are you behaving this way because you want attention? Do you want approval? Do you want love? Are you trying to make up for being a rat bag? Why do you do what you do? In spite of what many people think there is a reason for everything. Motivation: One of the hardest things to do is be honest about our motivation. That’s because behavior learned can often be inappropriate behavior, and we don’t know or understand we are even doing what were doing. What motivates you? Is it the thrill of reaching the goal? Is it being the best in your field? Is it helping others? Is it money? Is it having other people telling you that you’re doing well? Is it simply the fact you set your own course and look forward to overcoming the next set of obstacles? For some people it’s important to have control, for others they dislike control and live in a constancy of chaos. Which way is up? When people lose a job, or a partner usually their confidence is shattered and they sometimes have the thought process include anger, self abuse and often destructive behavior the emotions and fears drive our decisions and when our choices are based upon confusion it’s easy to spin around in a negative cycle for days, months and even years. We justify ourselves by telling ourselves that its someone else’s fault and may be I wasn’t worth it, may be I shouldn’t try so hard, may be there is something wrong with me.
“The important thing is not what happens to us in life, but how we handle it.” We all feel everything listed above, we have all done it to others, we have had it done to us, and we are here on this planet having a physical experience which comes with all manner of pleasure and grief. The general population will have you believe that when something ends, job or relationship, or business that we have failed. I have found the truth to be the exact opposite of this. Life experiences are the source of each of us developing our quality selves as human beings. We come into life ill prepared for the rejection, the comparison, the manipulation the lack of validation, however if we are lucky, if we have a sense of truth then we learn and develop the skills of emotional intelligence. We learn to have an I can attitude, we learn to know how to stop reacting and begin consciously acting on our inner encyclopedia of life experience and get a positive result. When you look at life honestly it’s easy to see that all things must end; this is life, all things, which have a beginning must have an ending. After all would you want to stay in kindergarten or preschool your whole life? Life is about progressing in awareness and growing and developing a people. For me when something ends be it a job or a relationship then first thing I do is take time to be self honest as to why it happened then accept that I have learned all I can from what happened, and thirdly to let go and trust that there is a reason for everything and that life will continue. I keep going knowing my values will not be compromised and that my principles are intact and conscience clear. Then I take a deep breath get back up and step up to the next life experience. Every experience I have ever had, has taught me about me, what I want, what I like, and above all that I am able to have a good life and I am worth the best. The hardest lesson of all for me has been to trust myself, to trust my own judgment, because everyone in my world kept telling me I didn’t know what I was doing and that I should conform. Life has taught me never go against my gut feeling and my gut knowing – if in doubt, don’t do anything, just wait and watch for clearer understanding. The hard knocks of life were always the end result of not listening to the truth I knew inside. One of the biggest problems with Choices is we often are unaware of the hidden emotional agendas that drive them. I have learnt to recognize my own hidden agendas, and issues such as not wanting to take responsibility for myself, wanting to manipulate other people, wanting control, just to name a few are no longer a part of my life. Today I live my life, not someone else’s. If we are insecure we will look to others for their approval, it’s a natural human tendency to do this. Do you look for reassurance in other people? Life is about learning to identify our weakness then to develop skills to turn our weakness to become positive strengths; it’s about finding our good qualities and our not so good, and turning every aspect of us into a positive. The only way this can be achieved is by gentle self-honesty, by taking the time to understand what motivates us and why, by growing new skills and having courage. Do you know that the average mind has 8-1 negative to positive thoughts, so generally we beat ourselves up without even knowing it. Our mind chatter brings us to experience what we think about, even if it never physically happens. Life for me has been an incredible journey, one where I have been totally human, totally vulnerable, totally dependant, totally independent, totally confused, and everything else you can think to add to the list. Yet each time life handed me a curved ball, I had the courage to get back up and have another go. My aims and ambitions just grew and grew with each experience and as each obstacle disappeared so the sense of knowing that I could make a difference grew and I knew that it would continue to do so as long as I had the courage to be self honest and to be accepting and gentle with myself. To live life with GRACE. Gratitude, Respect, Acceptance, Compassion and Empathy! Often in my life I have been forced to stop take stock of where I am, what I am doing, and ask the question of myself. “Am I standing in my truth or am I compromising who I am?” In business I compared myself only to the people who had ethics and yet had still reached a high plateau of success. I asked myself what did they have I didn’t have? (Besides money) What did they know that I didn’t know? And from there I struggled and stretched until I owned that quality and I just kept aiming for the stars. I remember my mother writing in my autograph book when I was 13, “Aim for the stars but don't step on anyone to get there.” And not only that “if you aim for the stars you must just be lucky enough to hit the moon.” I began with nothing but an idea, and courage; I didn’t have anyone to help me, or to give me a silver spoon. I did have the quality of courage, commitment, and the vision of what I wanted to achieve. So many people have ideas or dreams, and thinking other people will support them share their dream with other people only to be bashed in to oblivion with, “what makes you think you can do that?” or “Well you know what the chances are of you succeeding don't you?” Well-meaning folk, who live in fear of success, fear of not enough to go round, and the need to control and limit rather than empower achievement. As a child and an adult I was dyslexic, today this does not restrict my life in any way. I was uneducated, introverted, totally lacking confidence, bad tempered, terrified of life and I was so lonely because I did not belong, I had no sense of anyone understanding me or connecting to me. The one light in the darkness was that I had been born with a gift, the gift was an inner knowing that I was born to do something special and that one person can make a difference. My anger was simply my own frustration and confusion which grew as a result of peoples ignorance, I found people could not accept or nurture me when I needed strength life seemed to beat me down some more. The harshness of the world tore at my soul until I had the courage to begin to find a way to firstly understand why people behaved the way the do and then secondly how I could help people develop an awareness based upon their individual life experience. Even as a child I was confused by the way people treated each other, life wasn’t supposed to be like that and I was determined to find a way to help stop the violence. Or at least help people become aware that they are not victims and they have a choice. The Power of Choice; The choices we make every minute of our lives are driven by our agendas. If we are emotionally co-dependant then that will color our decisions and influence our choices, just as being afraid will restrict our choices. We often simply live by one reaction after the other, rather than conscious actions. So how do we make choices, which empower us? Choices, which do not cause us, harm? The answer is simple. These Principles do not only apply to business ventures, they apply to the person who we want to become. We must first strive to become the person, and then the rest will follow:
· Firstly envision the person you want to become, identify the qualities that person will have, and then learn all you can about how to own the skills to become that competent person. Write a list! Find a role model, someone who inspires you. Did you know that it is impossible for us to achieve wealth for example if we believe all wealthy people are crooks? What ever we respect we can achieve, it’s that simple. · Secondly don’t share your thoughts with people who are not 100% supportive. There are very few people in this world who understand the power of manifestation. And very few who will totally support you to achieve your dreams without messing things up with negatives. · Thirdly. Don’t try to run before you can walk, it takes years to develop the skills to achieve your goals, and a giant redwood didn’t grow in a day. Be prepared to go the distance and do what ever it takes. So many people give up, just when they are about to succeed. · Do something every day towards your goal, don’t miss a day. 27 years ago I had an idea, a vision, 1984 I began writing my first book, In Search Of Truth. I had never used a computer before and I was dyslexic, did it stop me? NO! I sat at the computer for a minimum of one hour every day, without fail. I cried, I got angry, but I eventually mastered it, and that was an old dos machine not a windows easy…
Do everything you do with GRACE. Develop a generous spirit, emotionally, mentally and physically. Give respect to everyone, no matter who it is. (Suspend judgment – it does wonders for relationships) Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can. Have compassion for all people, animals and life as a whole. Walk a mile in my shoes, have empathy – not sympathy. People want you to listen, they don’t want your sympathy, they want to know you understand, be empathetic.
My mother Marjorie had a saying she would say whenever she saw someone disadvantaged, “there but for the grace of God go I.” To this day, whenever I see a disaster on television, a person in suffering, anything that affects the quality of our lives, I still find myself saying that in my mind. I am thankful for my spirit of strength. We so often forget to be thankful for what we have. With my project, people thought I was crazy; they openly condemned me for taking such a view of life. I was told I was unrealistic, Idealistic, and Ultraistic to name a few things. All around me people lacked courage to stand bye me to support and encourage me, but I kept going. Each time something didn’t work I asked myself, what is the bigger picture, what next? And I kept going. I kept learning every day, I taught myself to be computer literate, and I developed skills I thought were impossible. I started out learning by listening to tapes and watching videos because I had so little literacy skills. If I can achieve what I have achieved, so can you, there is no difference between you and me. I admit I view the world from a different perspective to most people, I live to inspire others, to help people achieve, to give the strength and courage to people to try. Every day I see so many unfulfilled dreams in people simply because they don’t believe strongly enough that miracles can and do happen. Yet babies are born every second, flowers bloom, the sun comes up, sadly people often believe fulfilling successful lives only happens to other people.What inner (often subconscious needs) drive your choices? These choices are driven by *Emotional needs * Physical needs * Psychological needs and * Environmental needs. Below is a list of things I find most common in peoples lives I would like you to take a moment and consider how these play a part in your life choices: What motivates you - Is it the need for? |
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