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You see when your stressed your body produces chemicals in response to your thoughts, so when your stressed out of your brain the body responds by over producing hormones which are destructive when produced in excess, like adrenalin. Why does an affirmation work? It works because it keeps them mind from thinking on the negative. It distracts so the mind can relax and calm itself and produce a balance of hormones during which time the body can heal itself. It’s that simple. O.K by now you’ve got the hand of letting go and stopping struggling so we can get on to some more practical tools to aid in the reinventing of your life. The universe needs a plan don’t focus on how you got here, the face is you’re here as unpleasant as it is. Stop looking back, keep looking forward and understand you can do it one inch at a time. You can reinvent your life you know you can. Who do you want to be? What qualities do you want to possess as a person? What do you admire in others, who are your role model? When you focus on the “whom” the “what” takes care of itself! Natural Law! There is one thing I have found in my life to be an absolute truth, and that is we can only achieve and keep what we admire and respect and that also relates to how we think about what we admire and achieve. The Law of Attraction is ~ what you think and feel you will experience, and keep experiencing. If our lives become something we don’t respect we will subconsciously sabotage that identity or relationship. Make an identity wish list! – Who do you want to be? What is that person like, are they considerate, loving, tolerant, artistic, creative, passionate, fit, healthy, intelligent, gentle, strong, respected by other people, trustworthy, wealthy? If you don’t have a role model then find one. Think of a person who you respect that has become successful. Now write a list of the characteristics that person has which you admire. When you compare yourself with that person, what qualities do you need to develop in yourself? It could be you need to be a little more particular about the way you present yourself; you may need to get fit or lose weight. You may need to learn to be assertive rather than aggressive for example! Now write a list of what you like about yourself as you are now. What are your qualities that give you respect and consider being strength? O.K. Now you have found your role model and you know what you admire about them. So how do you need to develop yourself to become more like them? Write a list. Don’t be afraid, no one else has to see the list it’s for your eyes only! Be self-Honest, but be careful not to put yourself down. Do you need to take more trouble with how you dress and present yourself in public? Do you need to be more honest and less manipulative? Do you need to have more courage? Do you need to be more proactive? Do you need to be able to express your emotions more clearly and show people around you that you care and love them? Do you need to become a little more independent? Do you need to become a little more Interdependent? Do you need to deal with issues of co-dependence? So you now have identified qualities, which you want to develop to support you to improve your life and give strength for you success, what do you do next? BEWARE of the pitfalls: As you begin to work with yourself - Don’t look for validation of your actions or life from other people. Because you won’t get it, if you’re moving a head happily often people around you feel jealous, or betrayed, strange as it sounds its true. You must hold the vision strong and clear in your head and heart of who and what you want to be. Very few people can be sincerely happy for someone else getting life back on track. Sadly a lot of people actually like to think your down and struggling, it gives them something to think and gossip about. Be Prepared; You must understand that if you want to be a musician, it takes time, you must learn the skills you need to do the job, what ever you want to achieve, you have to be a willing student of your own life. Keep it to yourself: Don’t make the mistake of telling everyone around you what you’re doing; people will think your nuts! Not only that but did you know that often people close to you can actually become a barrier to your achieving your goal of a new start and a new you! People feel secure when nothing changes in their lives. Those people close to you may not really want you to change, because if you change and improve your life, they might have to do something with theirs. If you have a dream of being someone, doing something special, more often than enough the answer you will get is not what you want to hear, far too often people just agree with you but you know they are just giving lip service, and if what you want to achieve is out of the norm then your bound to be told to wake up to yourself, get a job and accept that life is how it is. If you want to discuss what you are doing to improve your life, see a consultant, see a councilor or psychologist, someone independent of your situation as they have no emotional involvement in your situation and can allow you to talk without adding emotions and their own value based input into your journey. The sweetest revenge is to have a successful happy life. Look in the Mirror; Take a good look in the mirror and look for things you like in yourself. It won’t hurt a bit. If you don’t like what you see then get a plan and change it!If you are overweight then makes a sensible plan to get your body back in shape, and just do something towards that goal every day. If you are too thin and haggard, then also get a plan and move towards your ideal weight each day, exercise, do palates or yoga something gentle to get your body back working for you. Make your plan achievable; just do one thing towards each goal every day. EVERY DAY! You may have decided that you want to become a social worker, or psychologist for example, well we know these things can happen overnight, but with a bit of persistence they can happen so break your plan down into bite-sized pieces. It’s ok to dream big: I started TRUITY when I was in my forties; I could hardly read and write, I am dyslexic but that has not stopped me. Why hasn’t my learning disability stopped me? The desire to fulfill my destiny is stronger than the pain of learning how to overcome it. Every day since I wrote my personal mission statement all those years ago, every day I have put in motion something, it could be writing a poem, taking a photo, emailing someone who needs help, I have taken one tiny step after the other, without ever giving up on my direction or my belief in what I was born to do. Remember; An oak tree does not grow overnight! Change takes time, and it takes courage and it takes commitment and effort. If you want to study you may need to find out what forms of government support there is for you to study, how many types of study are there, how you can earn an income and still study. Remember: You can work and study part time; there is no law, which says that you have to do it all overnight! It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to do what you plan to do the key here is that your mind, body and soul is moving forward into a new future. Day to Day: Dealing with the practical every day issues can sometimes feel overwhelming. Make sure you have support of one or two good friends that you can have some fun with go for walks with and just chill out with them, lots of laughter is good for the soul. Avoid alcohol and drugs even coffee and tea can induce anxiety if over consumed. Be strong and have courage, stay focused and be determined to GET A LIFE – Remember: - YOU’RE COMING BACK – BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER! Keep moving forward no matter what challenges come your way. There will be days when you just want to crawl under a rock and forget the world. Believe me I know what it’s like, but that’s when you must have the courage to keep up talking yourself. Positive self talk and being thankful is essential. It’s ok to acknowledge the fact that things are CHALLENGING and that right at this minute it’s not easy, but tomorrow it will be better. Don’t deny, acknowledge what your feeling, all of it. Acknowledge the anger the frustration the hurt and the fear. It’s by acknowledging it that the power of it will disappear. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable, and yet know you have a soul of great courage and strength, and that you can make your life better – it just will take you taking care of yourself, and taking each day at a time. Count your blessings! It’s true – my mother taught me something early in life, that when you are feeling sorry for yourself and thinking your life is a mess, just look about you. Open your eyes and take a good look at other people’s lives. My mother always said the best way to forget your troubles is to find someone else who needs help more than you. Go and volunteer at a hospital, help the aged or the homeless. It surely gets your mind of your own troubles, when you see what other people are dealing with. Count your blessings, I have always found that I may not have all I want, but I seem to always have what I need. Fate and friends have been there at critical times, and if many have turned their backs because on you it’s not because they didn’t love you it was because they don’t know how to deal with what you are going through. It is good to remind yourself when things are bad that your family and friends still love you, they often just don’t know how to show you they love you. One day at a time can sometimes be one minute at a time! MAKE Goals and Life MANAGEABLE! If you work out how much money you need for a year it usually makes you feel it’s all too hard, it’s just hopeless. Fear and panic, strike hardest when we try to look into the future ~ you can focus on what you want, that is asking the universe to provide, then the hardest thing is to trust and believe it will come to you. So how can you make it less overwhelming? You know how much you need for a year? Now bring it down to a month? And I bet its still allot of money am I right? Now break it down to a week? Still overwhelming? Now break it down to a day, and now an hour? And if you need to work out how much money you need to earn a minute in order for you to cope. This theory can be applied to all types of difficulties, even giving up drugs or alcohol can be done one second at a time. After all the seconds keep connecting and before you know it, a week has gone and then a month and then a year, and looking back you will say, “I did it!” Thinking this way brings things back into perspective, it allows your mind to think ~ I am safe right now! ~ it allows you to step out of the negative thinking patterns.
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