TRUITY Spiritual Mentoring

Today the world’s sits on the edge of war, the small mindedness of man astounds me, as governments attempt to batter the opposition into submission. When will people realize that war is not solution? When will human beings as a global family make a commitment to stop the violence? I must admit that when I look back at my timing for this whole project I am a little bewildered by the series of events the coincidences, the timing – oh that word, timing.

I first began to notice the coincidences when the Princess of Wales was killed in that tragic car crash in Paris, although I am sure they began long before that day, however, that was the day I had my stroke, I lay unconscious for 26 hours and no one noticed.

Since then it’s been one bizarre coincidence after the other, for example last year we put in motion a huge mail out to promote our company, and the day it was timed to arrive in the mail Australia wide, the terrorists bombed the twin towers. We have had numerous publicity events clash with world events, and mysteriously had mail disappear for 9 months only to turn up after the event. Last week for example, we were to preparing to sign the financing contracts, and USA went to war again putting all of our plans to move ahead a hold. One can only avoid becoming paranoid for so long then one has to look at things and wonder what the hell is going on?

I once heard it said that each of us comes to our employment through our life experience and yes I must say that for me this surely is the case. Thirty years ago my life was one of total conflict – a war raged inside of me, one which tore apart my confidence, my life and my family constantly erupting in to violent outbursts simply as a result of the frustrations and the lack of choices perceived in my life. Thirty years ago I made a choice, and that was to use my passion for life and the love I felt for my family to find away to stop the violence! This is my story or part of it for to write it all I would have to write a book so large that no one would believe the experiences that it contained.

1994.

The early morning light filters through the curtains and I toss and turn in my bed. It has been another sleepless night and my body screams with pain as I attempt to move my aching limbs to climb from the sweaty tangled sheets. Sometimes I wonder if the aches and pains which accompanied my recent illness will ever go away; there are times when it feels as though they are etched so deep into my bones that they are as ancient as time itself. Not to worry, being ill has certainly given me time to think about the past and also prompted me to try to encapsulate all I have learned from my life experience this far.

With all my strength I struggle with the stiffness of my body as I lift my legs over the edge of the bed. God I hate being ill! I find myself moaning out loud as put my feet tentatively on the carpeted floor as I make a grab for my dressing gown lying beside me on the chair in a crumpled heap. These days I feel as though my body is something foreign, not at all like I used to be, agile, fit and strong as any man. I struggle to take a few clumsy steps and catch myself feeling almost dismayed at how I must appear, 42 years old and walking like I am 90. Somehow the scene brings to mind how it would have been to have had my feet bound, may be I had been a Chinese girl in another life, who knows? I grumble out loud to myself, trying to block the pain from my mind as I waddle forward forcing my legs and feet into motion.

Without being conscious of the fact, I began singing the song which had been echoing round and round my head most of the last week, “do you know where you’re going to, do you like the things that life is showing you, where you are going to, do you know?” It was as though I had heard the words for the very first time, I stop in mid -stride, pushing back my hair from my face almost frozen by the impact of the words hitting home within my consciousness as never before. I reached for the door arch way and steadied myself, my thoughts racing ahead of me I once more began moving towards the desk where my computer sat waiting. The deep feeling inside of knowing it was time for another day’s work to begin. I sat for a moment seeing my reflection in the window glass as I searched the early morning skies for inspiration and the strength to keep on.

My thoughts turned inward and before I knew it I was softly singing the words of a song, “Mahogany.” As I sang I listened to the words, as if giving them permission to provoke thoughts about my life, and the ultimate question, did I actually know where I was going to, and did I like what life was showing me? “Well I’m not sure, I think so,” I half answer the puzzle of the words of the song.

I listened as my voice filled the silence of the room, as I gently sang over and over the words “Do you know where you’re going to? Do you like the things that life are showing you? Where are you going too? Do you know?”

The theme from the film Mahogany has been a constant companion of late, ever since I had decided to take a chance and speak to someone about publishing this book. I had to admit I certainly didn’t know where life was taking me; all I knew was there was no going back. I have finally shut the doors on parts of me, which have been holding me back for a long, long time, or so I thought. My marriage of 23 years was over, my children grown, and me, well life was just beginning, so I thought. Even as I sat typing my thoughts, my life was being prepared and I sensed the stage was being set for the grandest adventure of all.

Even in the midst of my illness the preparation almost complete and the curtain is about to go up. Life was about to unfold anew. Isn’t this what I always wanted? I was single, free to do what I wanted when I wanted, no one to answer to! For a moment I sat frozen in time pondering that very thought. Was this what I had always wanted? Hadn’t I made my life exactly what I wanted it to be? Hadn’t I always been driven to follow my path, and compelled to search out the real reason why I was born? I never thought for one minute that my body would give in under the strain of the stress I was placing it under. Not for one minute did I ever think life would be like this!

I had searched for the answer for so long and I was so tired, tired of the searching, tired of the self doubt, tired of the loneliness and the feeling of not belonging anywhere. My thoughts spun swiftly swimming and swirling through the memories, which flooded into my mine. This world holds so much for us to experience, why is it some people appear to encounter one struggle after the other while others experience a life blessed? Why it is some appear to be so ill prepared for the experience we so loosely call life?

Choices, it’s all about choices I began to mutter to myself. I never was one to be able to deny the truth of what I felt inside, I could not do one thing and think another; something within me demanded congruency, no matter what the cost. I appear to be born with such a strong conscience that often my bold stance got me into all sorts of predicaments, just like now. A few years before I had become involved in what I loosely term spiritual practices, in other words I began consciously developing my skills and abilities related to my intuition and psychic abilities. At the time I desperately wanted to find where I fitted in this world, I thought at the time that it was the way to find my place in it all.

Now in hindsight in the year 2003, I understand that every human being at some time in their life enters on the journey; we simply do it using different mediums. Some use education, some religion, some drugs, some music, and some spirituality. However, when you get to the bottom line, we are all looking for the same thing, a way to get life to work, and a way to live in peace and fulfillment.

Our life journey is simply our souls trying to fill our inner need to come to peace. The call to evolve, to develop our understanding and to understand our truth and that every thing we experience is the result of the choices we make and the subtle subconscious needs and desires which influence our choices. If we are lucky age brings us closer and closer to self honesty and with the self honesty comes an unshakable trust in the truth of our intention and ourselves and in turn this leads us to live life in a much more peaceful manner. (If we are lucky!) It would seem however that there are some people who are not destined to become aware. There are others who seem to never ever wake to the other awareness; they just live a physical life.

 These people are not compelled by the same drive to become better tomorrow than they are today, and for the most part they believe they are alone and when you die, your dead, and its that simple. And the irony of it all is that often a person who seeks self-awareness ends up married to someone who is not interested in anything to do with awareness. Angels with lead boots on, souls who seek awareness who bring earthly souls to their lives simply so they don’t fly off to the irrational unreality of a life like Alice in Wonderland.

About 15% of the populations are compelled to ask “WHY?” and the whole journey of life seems to be one self-development course after another. Every day is spent self-analyzing and searching the wisdom, which one-day will help us become more and more aware of why life is like it, is. People like me appear to be constantly challenged with the greatest obstacles, like being honest having integrity, compassion, tolerance and above all faith and trust.

We believe there is some universal plan, which binds us all together – every single person on earth – to some great plan of evolution. “Do you know were you’re going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you?” I watch people around me astounded at the number who are just going through the motions of life, as though the destination is the important thing, but hang on, isn’t the journey the important part? Are you really living life or are you existing?” Do you enjoy what you do every moment of the day, or keep wishing you were somewhere else with someone else? If you do struggle, what is it you’re struggling with? Is it the search for love? Is it because you want more money, more power or more something than you have? Is it holding onto the pain of the past? Or in truth is it the eternal quest – the quest for freedom? Every thought you have creates your life and ultimately your imprisonment or your freedom.

What is freedom? For me freedom is life! It’s the ability to be oneself, the ability to stand in truth, the ability to love with respect and integrity, not only others but to love oneself. Humanity has searched throughout the ages, questing for enlightenment using mystic rituals and chants attempting to control the elements of life, which create our existence. Yet it is said, there is noting more dangerous than a free man! Why? A person who is free cannot be imprisoned; their soul is untouchable, as they have found the essence of detached attachment.

My wise friend, Arthur, once said, “The greatest secret to life is to learn to live it – simply that. Enjoy every moment as if it’s your last, spend time with people you love and show them you love them, walk in the sun and see the color of life, which surrounds you. Live life TRUITY embrace all it has to offer in its banquet,” he used to say. He taught me that when we live in truth we then live in freedom, and it’s from this freedom that we build solid lives that lead others by example. Until we become aware we have a choice, many of our decisions in life are made for the wrong reasons. We make them to please others, or because we think it’s what we have to do, often we don’t know we have a choice we simply do the best we can with what we have. Then when we look honestly at our lives shock hits, we realize we have not listened and honored the self and as a result often compromised our truth in order to have or feel safe or reach our goals.

I had now reached the time of self-honesty; it had been brought on me through the circumstances of being ill. One thing for sure you take yourself with you no matter where you go in life, and sometime the universe has to stop us in our tracks in order we re-evaluate our lives and in doing so make change s in our behavior and attitude. I had reached a point where I now had to face the realization that most of my life had been a lie, I had been in situations where I didn’t want to be, but had stayed because I didn’t think I had a choice. The result of this was now my body had become so stressed that my immune system had broken down, and I had contracted glandular fever and cat scratch fever, as well as something no one could identify. My life was falling apart around me, I could not go to work, I was alone and fate sure was going to give me just time to reconsider my choices and to let go of whatever needed letting go of.

There were days when I often felt overwhelmed with sadness and I knew a big part of my life was dying. I knew it was time for me to “wake up” and get on which whatever it was I had come into this world to do, I knew I could no longer ignore the calling. The awareness had stuck a resonance deep within me. I could no longer exist! Somehow I had to take back my life, find my path and above all I had to become responsible and then from there rebuild my life. Little did I realize that day just how far the journey was going to take me, or the enormity of the challenges I would endure. That Saturn energy in my birth chart, the teacher with the big stick, would accept nothing less than perfection from me in what was to come and my god what a journey it turned out to be.

“Ultimately I was to learn that the price for freedom and peace is high, I had to be prepared to face the deepest darkest corners of my soul and stand in all honesty unafraid of the challenge in order to reach my destiny. The place of ultimate power lies within, and so the journey must begin.