TRUITY Spiritual Mentoring

Children learn what they live!

If a parent is too busy and too tired to give the child attention and respect then the child will rebel. If a Childs main source of input is the television set, what do you think they will learn?

Today in most families both parents work, both are usually stressed, and preoccupied with the new car they want to buy or the paying of the bills to really give children what they need.

So many times I have seen and heard parents say to kids, just go away while I have a drink, do what you want.  I have seen this with parents of kids just 3 years old, and then they wonder why the child then becomes out of control by the age of 5.  What sort of a future will that child have?   The Likely hood of by 15 being pregnant or in trouble with the police or both is extremely high.

Common Sense

These days I get an every day opportunity to put the years of research and insight in action with my ten year old son.   He is only ten; however, this is an average conversation with him.

I talk with him, if he does something stupid like tell a lie, I just ask him. "Do you think that was a smart thing to do?" nine times out of ten he answers, "No."  Then why did you do it," I ask "I don't know, I felt like it."  "How do you think that's going to affect .,,,,,,?"  "They aren't going to be happy," he says, "Do you like it when people tell you a lie?"  I ask.  "No," he answers. "That's right, now what should you have done?"  "I should have had the courage to tell the truth."  He answers.  "That's right, always being honest, and people will respect you. You don't like it when someone does that to you so, don't do it to other people."  

Insight common sense dos and don'ts;

If you want happy healthy kids then try to have at least one parent home, when the kids are home, or have them well supervised! Remember kids do learn what they live! Clean up your own act, think about how we talk to each other, our kids copy everything about us, in one way or another, they copy how we treat - speak to and relate to the society we live in.  

Understand that everything we do has a direct impact on how our children will learn to relate to others. If our kids hear us scheming to cheat - lie - do the wrong thing, don't you think they will automatically assume its ok to do the same?  

Don't tell kids what to do!     Involve the kids from an early age and encourage them to think about the decisions they make and to tell you what they see as the results of their decisions and how they could have done it better.  Help the kids to develop their thinking capacity, help them to explore the ramifications of their actions and choices. 

Bad Kids?

It's very rare to find a bad kid; most are just the product of our society, our values (or lack of), our interactions or our neglect.  So if your having problems with your kids, look honestly in the mirror, and see where you gave too much or too little, where you didnt have time, or didnt have the values, then let it go, and make the choice to do it better from here on.  OUR KIDS DO LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE!  If a child has a low tollerence threshold when it comes to coping, there will be problems.  Children can learn to develop Emotional Intelligence at an early age, life does not have to be all drama and hormones flying about.

I don't believe any of us intentionally set out to create problem kids, its just something that happens because most people don't think about it, they try to raise the kids by control, rather than teaching them to think - and use common sense.   The biggest problem is we arent born with a how too manual. Life is about learning, its about trial and error, it's about never ever giving up - it's never too late to help kids grow into responcibe fantastic people.  Life is like a Garden it sometimes takes alot of effort, constant attention, lots of fertilizer and good conditions to have a bumper crop.  And the truth of the matter is that sometimes the parents need just as much help as the kids.

 REMEBER: It's not what happens to you in life that counts, its how you deal with it - will you react - will you explode in a frustrated ball of anger or - will you choose to do it differently - its your choice.