TRUITY Spiritual Mentoring

Toxic Relationships part 2.

In the last article I talked about Toxic Relationships and the signs and symptoms.  This article I will go a little further into how you can strengthen your energy and clear negative energy the aim is to eventually get to the point where it will no longer affecting your life. 

When we live with other people it's inevitable that we absorb and take on some of their energy.  Have you ever met a couple who finish each others sentences for example, or met a couple who over time become to look like each other?  With some couples one may even have a dramatic personality change, as they take on the energy of the stronger partner.   Sometimes this is good, sometimes it's not so good, often negativity has such strength that it will seep into the very core of a good even-tempered person changing their attitude to life and every thing that goes with it.  Its easy to be a peace living on your own, when your on your own you don't have to deal with other peoples stuff, you have no one to please, no one to answer to and no one to tell you their joys and woes.   

The whole point of spiritual evolution is that we become aligned with our inner truth, the core of right action and right thinking, and in doing so we can be in the midst of chaos but stay calm and centred in the midst of it.  Untouched by all that goes with it, nice thought, and not only a nice thought, it is actually a valid liveable reality.  So how do we sort out what is ours, and what is theirs, how do we know when we get short tempered and prickly if its us or someone else's unexpressed anger hanging in the air?   Well the answer to that question is, if you take it on you must have in your quantum energy field a like component, (some of that same energy) you can only ever attract to what is alike you.  So if things keep coming your way that you no longer want in your life, like angry people, or people who make life a chore then this is how to get past it. 

The only necessary and not negotiable part of this exercise is that you allow yourself one hour a day to spend time alone, in pursuit of balancing your life force energy.  Some people meditate, some jog, some sit and watch the sea, others read a good book, some do yoga, it doesn't matter what it is but it must be just for you, and at the same time lift your spirits.  For me, well I do a combination of things, I write articles, I do my photography, I sit by the sea, I allow myself to download the clogging, smothering chaos of life on a regular basis.   I live a very busy life, surrounded by many people doing various jobs, the energy I encounter often encroaches upon my home space, as I live in a hotel with my partner. He is GM so we live onsite, its no way a luxury life, to the contrary, our bedroom is also an office, and workspace.  The energy of the hotel surrounds me constantly, and being a super sensitive person to energy, it surely is a challenge. If I were any less strong in my core I would surely become a nervous, disturbed blubbering mess, I have no doubt. 

The secret for me is "knowing" myself, and recognising the moment when I begin to become entrapped in overwork, over thinking and over reacting to life's daily challenges.   For example, if my partner is under a great deal of stress and brings that stress home to bed, I will have dreams that are totally off the wall, weird symbolic dreams that leave me exhausted.  When this happens I know I am processing his energy for him, helping him download his accumulated crap from the day, sometimes we have what are called karmic contracts with partners to do this, especially when you are a involved in healing arts or crafts.   I don't want the reader to take this article the wrong way, it's not about blame, or someone being wrong, I am simply saying that we often take on the energy of those who are around us. 

It's up to us to consciously recognise this, and then deal with that energy from a point of internal power.  By internal power I mean, to simply recognise what is happening, and then do something to provide your own body with its own space to rebalance.  Taking care of the self is critical in keeping harmony spiritually.  Never say yes when you want to say no.  If you want to say no, then find ways to say it without being hostile and aggressive in the process.  Take responsibility for your actions, and always stand 100% in your integrity.  Never agree to something that goes against the principles you hold important, not even for a so called friend.  If a discussion starts that is gossip and detrimental to someone, then simply change the subject. Don't have an opinion.  Don't put energy into things that cause harm to another person.

Negative people can often be very charismatic, very pleasing and very affectionate.  They can charm you into their web of intrigue, and before you know it they have you gossiping and joining in their reality.  I often see this behaviour with staff, you know who are honest and reliable, and who just tell you what they think you want to hear, and you see how one bad apple can infect the whole of the tree and do it with such charm.   People like to be liked, and sometimes the most negative people are the most charming and underneath the most destructive.   Toxic people are often very social, very loud, and very aggressive, they rule with force and control with fear and gossip. 

So after reading this second article on Toxic relationships, take a moment and look around you in your life.  How are you going to deal with Toxic People in your life from today on?  Will you let down your standards and become like them?  Or, will you choose to walk to the beat of a different drum, follow your truth and your own path and be in that respectful to yourself?