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Each of us lives our life within what I call 'Our circle of Inflence," for some people that means they never go any further than two blocks from where they live, for others their daily life involves trecking across the country, meeting new people every day. We all however strive to life in small selective secure environments, the size of our individual Circle of Inflence is dependent upon our inner values, our beliefs and our experiences, but most of all it depends upon our perception of ourselves and our capabilities.
Our boundaries are the invisible lines, which produce a sense of inner security. Whenever we are challenged to extend our selves over these invisible lines we naturally interpret the experience as a feeling of discomfort that most people would relate as the feeling of aprehension or fear.
Remember the first time you rode a push bike, or got on a buss by you, or went for a job interview. Humans have a natural tendency to be afraid of the unknown. A good example of this is to get on an airplane for the first time, for many these is a terrifying experience. So why do we give ourselves such a hard time over feeling this way? If fear is a natural state when experiencing something new or unknown, why do we think it a quality to be ashamed of? Why can't we normalise it and interpret the discomfort that comes with change in a positive way? I feel the first step in this is through understanding that every single human being experiences this feeling that if your life is changing, then what you are feeling is very "NORMAL"
Stretching our boundaries reminds us that there are millions of experiences out there of which we have no practical experiential knowledge. Vulnerability comes to the fore, of our lack of confidence in an unknown situation often ultimately leaves us shaking and quaking in fear of being thrust into the unknown and our minds throwing in every negative self diminishing thought it can find.
However it’s stepping into the unknown which challenges us to think positive, while expanding our experience of our world in turn provoking us to live our lives to the fullest. Everything we do requires we face some form of apprehension or resistance to the growth that is natural. For some people it’s more than for other people, for example one person may be absolutely terrified of riding a horse, and not even want to try, while another person may be afraid but desperately want to have a go. We are all individuals in what we experience.
There is a great book that has been out for years called, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” If you have big issues with boundaries and trying new things I suggest you read this book. It will definitely help. Stretching our boundaries isn’t always easy, the main reason is we only know what we know, and humans are creatures of habits. To change life circumstances, to step outside of our comfort square is somewhat unnerving for most people. Generally life has to “toss” us into the deep end in order to expand our perception and develop our skills in life. Its amazing how many people say they just want a quiet life, and there is nothing wrong with that, the thing to remember however is, that if we are not learning, if we are not developing new skills, if we are not living life, we can become bored and in a sense separated from the very essence of spiritual energy, which is experienced through the feelings of “joy – excitement – love – happiness – and well being.”
So sometimes, life hands us a huge “toss,” in order to make us get out of complacency. For some people without the provocation of things appearing to go badly, most would never dare to explore their potential, and the vast dimensions of unexplored possibilities would never be discovered and our spirit would lay dormant, boredom taking over and complacency prevailing bringing with it the experience of ~ sadness – anger – depression – poverty and resentment. Every human being has a need to grow and expand in conscious awareness, some taking huge steps others small, the size irrelevant, the desire however lies within us all to move towards a better daily life experience. I believe that most of the experiences I have had in my life time have been in the long term positive, the hardships have provoked me to rise above the limits of education, finances and the fear of standing in my power as a woman who is committed to making a difference. How do you “Choose,” to think upon your life experience?
Ultimately what we fear, wether it be rejection, or simply fear of the unkown can create a barrier to prevent us actually reaching the very thing we want most. I suppose the ultimate challenge we present to ourselves on a spiritual level is to clarify how much we beleive in ourselves, and how much we are prepared to go through to achieve what we want.
Strength is often forged through adversity - and belief in oneself is the reward for the journey. Many Blessings TRUITY
Are you content with your Circle of Influence and how you interrelate to other people in that Circle? Is fear of the unkown or fear of failure stopping you from exploring new territiory, new ideas, new life experiences?
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How do we change our preoccupation with negative thinking? The answer to that is simple;
Firstly it is essential to take your attention away from the negative thinking.
A simple way to cut the patterns of your mind running wild is this one; Get a rubber band, one that is a little larger than your wrist, put the rubber band on your wrist like a bracelet. Each time you find yourself being self absorbed in negative thinking the simply ping the rubber band. This process reframes the pattern, it allows you to consciously say, “I choose not to think in that way,” “This is the outcome I want for me in my life ~ and think about aspects of your life that empower you. Rather than thinking about the negative aspects which simply churn over and over and get no where.
Take control of the reins, not by negating the negative ~ but by choosing to think other things. After you have pinged the rubber band a few hundred times, you sure become aware of what you have been thinking, and how easy it is to simply ~"Change your mind."
When you’re emotionally struggling, its easy to just feel overwhelmed and want the world to go away and leave you alone. Although it is good to wrap yourself in cotton wool, (so to speak) for an hour or two, it is not good to stay there indefinitely. A Key to getting past emotional trauma is to keep physically active. The old adage, “Idle hands are the devils workshop.” Basically says it all.
When you’re emotionally struggling, its easy to just feel overwhelmed and want the world to go away and leave you alone. Although it is good to wrap yourself in cotton wool, (so to speak) for an hour or two, it is not good to stay there indefinitely. A Key to getting past emotional trauma is to keep physically active. The old adage, “Idle hands are the devils workshop.” Basically says it all.
If you are just sitting doing nothing, you are more likely to keep dwelling on what went wrong. And when you think about what went wrong, what you’re going to attract is “more of the same.” Do you want to keep creating more sad energy?
Of course not, so find something anything healthy, to take your mind to a constructive place of thinking.
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Go for a walk
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Clean the house
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Mow the lawn
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Wash the car
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Read a good book
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Go to a movie
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Do anything that will allow you to move the energy
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Focus on other activities that require your attention
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It is far healthier to go jogging to get rid of you
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Dont ~ sit and wallow in self pity
Restrain ~ from telling your story to other people
TRANSMUTE THE ENERGY ~ use it for something positive ~ I used to scrub the house, I had the cleanest house in the country. Dig the garden, wash the car, but keep your mind busy with things you can focus on.
There are 3 stages to getting over a bad relationship
~ Anger ~ Acceptance ~ Restoring Purpose to your life.
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I don’t believe there are logical answers to explain everything we experience in our daily lives; however, I believe we contribute to everything we experience by giving it power to exist in our minds first. There is an old saying, that “you experience everything you think about, weather it happens or not.”
What is meant by this is that by thinking about certain things, you can evoke the emotions, stresses and a mind presence of the very thing you are thinking upon. Recently Olympic trainers tested the automatic nervous system response of athletes who visualized competing in events. The physical response was identical to that which would happen if they had actually been competing. The stress on the body’s organs including blood pressure and pulse were recorded as being equal.
So when you’re thinking over something in your mind, thinking in positive terms, your body gets a blast of good hormones; And when you’re thinking in negative terms, you get rushes of hormones that in large doses are damaging to the body, such as adrenalin.
When it comes to relationships, often people are in the true sense "Addicted to Love." They need that rush of hormones, or they begin to think in ways that reassure them the love is gone, the relationship has gone sour, and that they need to find a new person in their life. When in fact the truth is, its simply that the "rush" isnt there any more, because our sensors have become accustomed to that person. Its sort of like a drug addict in some ways they keep trying more and more diffrent drugs to get high.
And when we fall in love essentially, the hormones put us on a high! Think about it, remember what it was like when you met that special person? Do you remember the "rush," the racing heart beat, the sense of expectancy?
One of the interesting things that Quantum physics is now established is that we actually become dependant upon those hormones, just like an addiction.
People who have had allot of drama in their lives, actually are addicted to drama. Being in the midst of drama makes them feel alive, and feed their biological addiction. The big question here for you to ask yourself, is could you possibly be Addicted to the relationships you have been experiencing?
Is it possible that you are addicted and need the drama?
Do you know that 98% of what you worry about, never actually physically happens? So why do we spend so much time worrying about things? The answer to that is simply that we see the power of our lives experience in the hands of other people or circumstances. For example, how many times do you find yourself wondering, “About what someone else will do?”
People, who achieve outstanding results in life don’t think from the same perspective about their lives, instead they think in terms of “knowing what they will do,” no matter what the other person does. They come from a different space, a space of empowerment. Their life is built upon a solid sense of self which does not rely upon another person behaving any way in particular. They are generally free of emotional involvement in the communication.
So how do you make that step from being involved in the drama and swimming in a sea of emotions to being clear and concise about who you are and what you want in your circle of influence? (What do I mean by your circle of influence? ~ It is the area surrounding your life within which you interact and have the power to make changes.
Not everything in life is within your circle of influence. For example; a bomb going off in some foreign country in most cases is beyond your circle of influence because you are powerless to do anything about it.) The one thing that is totally within your circle of influence is "How and what ~ you think about your situation and circumstances."
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Now, time to find yourself a diary, or pen and paper, and write down which of the following statements apply to your life.
Why we are doing this, is in order to change you first need to know where you are coming from, this involves actually becoming aware of what you do you believe?
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Do you think you are a victim of circumstances
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Life is how it is and you can’t change it
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You make your own opportunities
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There is a natural flow to life so you just go with it
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You can control events and make things happen
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Opportunities and luck happen to other people
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Wealth is limited to the few
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Most wealthy people are crooks
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You have to compete for everything in life
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There is more than enough wealth for everyone
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The key to wealth is to create it not compete for it
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Life is hard and that’s how it is
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Life is not meant to be hard
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Happy people attract good luck
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Wealth is a matter of luck
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Positive “Can Do Attitudes,” affect our personal wealth.
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It’s impossible to make a living from your favorite hobby.
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You have to get a job and be part of the system to be secure
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Other people are lucky in love and you are not
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One day you will find a loving partner to take care of you
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You don’t think there is really a person out there you can trust
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This is as good as it gets
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Just accept how things are lots of people are worse off than you
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You deserve what you get in life
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Life has been cruel and you don’t deserve what has happened
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Life always brings good experiences your way
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Things always turn out for the best
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You are truly lucky, and fate keeps you safe always
The reason for me asking such a wide range of questions is firstly to get you thinking about what you DO believe, and secondly from that point we can begin challenging why you believe it in the first place.
If you have any other thoughts about what you beleive about your life, you can also add these to your journal now, the more you write the better.
In the next article/page we will begin to change some of the patterns in order for you to begin building a vision of where you want to go with your life, and what sort of relationships you desire to experience.
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Are you tired of tying yourself into knots trying to make your relationships work?
Have you ever wondered why some people can attract relationships why someone else who is beautiful sits at home alone?
Have you ever wondered why the battered wife often brings into her life another abusive relationship?
Have you ever wondered why some good people, attract people who use and abuse?
What do you think about relationships?
What have your past relationships been like?
How do you want your next relationship to be? Are you frightened to trust someone again?
The articles I write are in some ways controversial; I will provoke you to think about your life in a different way.
You see if you keep looking at life from where your perspective is right now, guess what ~ nothing will change.
By looking at things from a different perspective you are better able to leave the hurt behind.
The questions above were just to provoke your thinking, as we work through this section I am going to show you how you can change your patterns of thinking into constructive supportive energy that will empower you to bring to your life a good healthy relationship.
Something that is important is that, you realize what you attract into your life, is influenced by what I call subtle energies.
For example, if you feel bad about yourself, then you are likely to bring to you someone who will reinforce that energy, the purpose of this is not the universe bashing you a little more; no, in fact it is the universe trying to get you to believe in yourself, and let go of the energy that is not appropriate to your living a happy life.
The only thing I ask you to consider for the course of this section I want you to accept the possibility that "thought is stuff - it is substance."
Thinking creates substance from which our experience grows. As you begin to watch your patterns of building and erasing, you will soon see why so few create so much, our thoughts are often scattered like seed on the wind.
First we think this and then we think that, changing our mind every two seconds, one minute confident, the next doubting. And its this pattern of thinking that detracts from our lives, disempowering our ability to draw to us the very thing we so desperately want.
There is an old saying, if you can imagine it, you can have it, and this is so true - however, you must remember if within you there is a seed of self doubt, then no matter what you are trying to manifest it will be more difficult. It is so important to first clear the self doubt, learn to trust your own judgement, learn to know when you are making decisions based upon emotional need, and then change those habits. If strong emotions are involved, its always best to wait before jumping into anything. Let the emotions settle, only ever make big decisions from a point of balance and clarity and self honesty, and things will go well for you.
Thats all for this one, Many Blessings to everyone TRUITY
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