Are you feeling empty and exhausted? Is your life working for or against you?
Every human being wants the same things, safety, comfort, food, shelter, to be loved, to succeed, to be free to experience life to the fullest that we can imagine.
So if most of what you want in life is the same as everyone else, why is it one person seems to take flying leaps and bounds into the positive future and another person find everything a struggle?
Firstly there is the matter of goals, for example people may have seen me struggle in my life and yet in truth the goals I have set for my life are so big that other people would never have even thought to do what I do, let alone do it. Not everyone sets huge goals, but they still struggle. Why?
For each of us, our personal drive plays a huge part in how we live our lives, what we value, what we aspire to achieve, all influenced by the role models of our dreams hopes and life experiences. The bigger the aspiration, the more we internally process and change, the more our understanding grows, and hopefully the more of life we experience. And the more we tend to rock the boat for those around us.
For those of us with lofty visions we can often appear to outsiders, that should we take the time to take care of ourselves, or to say no to their demands, that we are seen as selfish, or self cantered. And let's face it, no one likes to be seen as selfish do we?
So we end up trying to be superhuman, we sacrifice our own well being and try to keep everyone around us happy, because if you keep them happy they will not become a block to achieving our dreams.
In the end what happens is we start saying yes to things we want to say no to, we get caught up in fulfilling other people's needs and wants even when we are exhausted, and why - because we feel guilty if we don't, we feel the blow of their emotional outbursts, and fall even further into the emptiness of exhaustion.
People who struggle, people who become ill mostly have one thing in common, they are good caring people. The problem is a simple one, many people want to be loved and accepted, they want to please and take care of their loved ones and family so they continually make withdrawals from their personal energy bank account to do things for other people that they in fact are quite capable of doing for their selves.
Just take a moment to do this exercise:
Imagine we start off with so much energy, imagine it as a ball if you like that surrounds you, then as time goes by, we keep giving this energy away without getting anything back, or only getting a little back once in a while. We say yes when we want to say no, we dress in a way that our partner likes, we behave in ways other people think suitable, we are not taught to be able to say the magic word which honours our inner feelings "NO!" If you grew up in a happy healthy family, you naturally took on your parent's values and behaviours to some extent. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family then you would also have taken on those values and behaviours to some extent. But actually it is the Social values which often give us the most grief, and a part of our society at one time believed in "Sacrifice," as an essential part of being a good Christian.
But someone got it wrong, when we sacrifice we end up sick, mentally, emotionally and physically. When we respect other people more than ourselves, we end up sick, mentally, emotionally and physically. The essential part of life is self respect, and this does not mean that you are mean to other people, is rather implies that you must find ways to keep depositing energy into your own bank account, or bubble of energy in order that you then have the energy to choose to help others, and be of assistance in a genuine way rather than doing things begrudgingly.
How do we deposit into our personal bank accounts?
It's easy, do something every day which makes your heart sing, move with joy though your day, laugh at the silly things in life, play with your creative energy once in a while. Do things every day that you like to do, even if it's just a few minutes, try this today.
Pick 3 things you love: o Could be a walk in the park or on the beach o Could be listening to music o Could be painting or drawing o Could be cooking o Could be playing with your cat or kids o Could be simply relaxing with your feet up. o Or buying a special cup of coffee and sitting quietly and savouring every mouthful.
It doesn't matter what it is, (providing its legal) but set 3 X 10 minute breaks, and make them happen in your day.
People say they don't have time, well for all those people who say you don't have time, I have news for you. If you don't have time, you won't have energy and you will keep struggling simply because your personal bank account will end up empty and you will end up crashing and burning.
Hard line:
I am going to take the hard line here, simply because when people come to see me they are often, "crashing and burning," they are in tears, emotionally mentally and physically exhausted and confused. They hate their jobs, hate their lives, hate their families demands, they want to run away and start again.
Have you ever felt like that?
Often people do run away, they do start again and guess what; they create that same scenario over and over again, until they end up with cancer or some other illness which stops them from running.
There are many ways to sort through the maze that depletes your personal energy, we all have bad habits that are in fact self defeating, the challenge is not to find ways to clear those patterns of behaviour, but to actually realise the patterns exist.
Too many people spend their life processing - trying to work out what fixes things, when in truth - THE MOMENT YOU REALISE YOU HAVE A PROBLEM - the nature of the human psyche has already begun solving the problem. TRUST - the nature of yourself, be true to yourself, and remember if you react to an issue, then you are not sitting in TRUST.
The most holy place of all, is a place of no reaction - that is the place of personal power, for it is only when there that we can clearly choose right action - which in turn restores personal power. You will no longer feel tired and exhausted - this I guarantee..
It is possible to live your life aligned to other people, complimenting, and supporting, without giving your own vital life force away.
Life is really not meant to be a struggle, it is meant to be that your energy supports your life journey and your life is good.
That's all from me today, take care till next time. Many Blessings and may your bank account always be overflowing.
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